richard was here for 24 hours. it was lovely. but quick. somehow, after he has gone, the urge to get things done has return to me. it has been missing for weeks. when i got home from taking him to the train station, i took my bike into the back yard, and stopped to pull up all the terrible poison weeds that i hate that were starting to fill up the entry corridor. then i sat down to write. in a few moments i will get other things done, make things, keep afloat.
i my dream, i was a student at a school that was like a daycare, all bright colored plastic toys, educational posters. the people there were not children, but not adults either. the academic load was pre-school like, but also very rigorous. so much scooping puff balls with a spoon, naming colors and shapes. i fell behind. i wasn't given any work to do. for a long, long time. it was like a classic forgot-to-go-to-class-for-two-months dream, but such an altered reality. so many colors, textures. and i didn't know what was going on. everything around me was the same, but somehow different. i couldn't figure it out. then i met a girl who explained it to me. i was following her through this fantastical adult-pre-school world, climbing trees and sliding into ball pits as she told me i had been not feeling, not thinking, not sensing anything at all for seven years. she said it was the same for her. we had been in this senseless state in this overstimulating world and we hadn't even suspected it was hurting us.